well such random bizarre news come up every now and then and each get their own thread, so why not consolidate them. (consolidation is what's it all
about these days too.)
A
PUB regular has been barred from his favourite Dunfermline boozer – for indiscriminate wind breaking.
Management at the bar say Stewart Laidlaw “revels” in his bouts of flatulence and other punters have almost been sick after exposure to the foul
smells.
Mr Laidlaw (35), who is furious at the ban by Thirsty Kirsty’s, is thought to be the first person in West Fife to be barred for breaking wind.
The James Street pub’s owner says the stench has become unbearable since Scotland’s smoking ban came in last year but suspects drinkers could have
been breathing in the waft for years before without noticing it.
Former Woodmill High School pupil Mr Laidlaw, who lives in Edinburgh, admits he may have broken wind in the pub in the past but claims the ban by
landlord John Thow is “petty”.
The Harvey Nichols stock assistant told the Press, “I went in and basically he turned round and said, ‘Stewart, that’s the last fart you do in this
pub. Get out.’
“I didn’t even have a chance to draw breath. I just walked in and that’s all he said to me. I don’t know if he meant I’d done it before or just then.
He didn’t let me ask.
“What I remember when I walked in was there was a guy playing pool and it was already stinking and everyone was laughing. It could have been
anyone.
“I’ve probably done it in the past – when you’re drinking and having a laugh you don’t think about it – but that’s not the point. I must be the first
person in Dunfermline to get banned from a pub for passing wind.
“I’m really angry about the way I’ve been treated. He’s making a mountain out of a mole hill.”
Touch-born Mr Laidlaw, who is registered disabled due to sight problems, partial paralysis and epilepsy, has been drinking in the pub for around seven
years and often pops in after visiting his parents in Cowdenbeath.
And he says bad smells are nothing compared to the choking fumes in pubs before the smoking ban came in.
He added, “I use my old phrase, ‘This is revenge for you smokers’. I used to hate going into pubs when it was stinking of smoke.”
But Thirsty Kirsty’s owner Mr Thow hit back, saying the long-term flatulence was beyond a joke.
He said, “It is just disgusting. He revels in this and does it all the time and it’s absolutely foul, it would make you sick.
“Since the smoking ban he’s made a career out of this. He has been warned and asked politely to stop it on many occasions.
“We are a bus station pub and trying to keep new custom. The final straw was when an old gentleman came in and had his gin and tonic and the old guy
was almost sick.
“Other people have dropped handbags, shall we say. But when everybody’s choking and I come out with the spray and say don’t do it again, they will
appreciate that and stop it.
“His defence is, ‘It wasn’t all this when I had to put up with the smoking’. Everybody can pass wind but when you make a hobby of it it is going too
far.
“He will clear the pub out usually and he thinks it is very funny. I don’t have to give him a reason for not serving him but I did, maybe thinking he
would learn his lesson. But if he can’t see the error of his ways it’s a lost cause.
“I don’t want him back. I don’t need that behaviour. It has been detected for about a year [since the smoking ban], but it might have been going on
for a lot longer than that.
“If we have to apologise to other customers for him, then that’s too much.”
Fife Licence Trade Association secretary John Barclay said, “The landlord always has the right to refuse someone and if he feels he has to use that,
that’s his prerogative.
“You can’t just have one guy sitting there farting his day away and nobody else coming in.
“If this guy keeps coming and upsetting customers you have to address that.
“The smoking ban has raised a lot of issues. Some people are arriving in premises with serious cases of BO and you have to deal with that.
“Some landlords have said they have had to talk with people and say, ‘Look, you’re going to have to have a shower.”
What about the voice of geddy lee? How did it get so high? I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?
originally posted by flo
well such random bizarre news come up every now and then and each get their own thread, so why not consolidate them. (consolidation is what's it all
about these days too.)
Heard about the robber arrested because he called for a taxi in order to move all the things he stole from the house ? I'm pretty sure it was in
London, but I can't find the news anymore ...
This is the most big english mistake I've ever seen !
WHATTT?
I cant beleive this, it doesn't make any sense at all. How can a woman sit on a toilet seat for two years in a row and never get out of it????
That's traumatising me.
Maybe they were into toilet fetish piss crap thing, who knows.
I don't think I can find this one in English anywhere, but I read in a local paper here a story from the town of Turku, Finland today: A dude punched
another dude in a kebab restaurant, and decided to escape before the cops could get there. He took a taxi, but as he didn't have any money to pay for
the ride, he not only left without paying but also took the thingy where the driver keeps the change with him. Now as the taxi had taken him to his
home address, the police didn't have much trouble in finding the dude. They also found his marijuana plantation at the apartment.
Woman files lawsuit against AMR because passenger next to her masturbated while she slept
A 21-year-old Harris County woman filed a $200,000 lawsuit against American Airlines alleging employees on a flight to Los Angeles from Dallas/Fort
Worth Airport failed to protect her while she slept from another passenger who masturbated to her and ejaculated in her hair, according to a lawsuit
she filed last week in Tarrant County.
The Harris County woman alleges employees knew of the risks associated with failing to “police the passengers to ensure that passengers do not hurt
one another,” the suit states.
Airline officials did not return calls seeking comment. In a statement to a Houston television station last year, a spokesman said the company
regretted the incident, but the flight crew took appropriate action.
Destined for a Spring Break visit with family and friends March 19, the woman flew from Houston to DFW Airport and had settled into her seat for the
last leg of flight 2074 to Los Angeles about 11 p.m., the suit states. The woman slept most of the flight, but awoke about 20 minutes before landing
when the pilot announced the plane was on descent into Los Angeles. When the woman opened her eyes, she saw that an unknown man had moved into the
seat next to her and was staring at her as he masturbated, the suit states.
The woman turned toward the window in embarrassment and in an act of nervousness began to run her fingers through her hair where she noticed “a
substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair,” the suit states.
The woman began to cry and tried to get the attention of a flight attendant, but was unsuccessful, the suit states.
Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair.
When the plane landed, employee called airport police and the man was arrested.
The suit alleges that the during the investigation, American Airlines employees told police they witnessed the man move from his assigned seat into
the row where the woman was sleeping.
The woman is seeking punitive damages and a jury trial.
im amazed that someone would turn away in embarrassment if they woke up to someone having a wank next to them.
she should have tried to cut off his cock with one of those little plastic knives you get. he would think twice about making a mess of her hair next
time
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/7304452.stm
Mrs Willis added: "People are surprised when they find out we're wearing dog wool clothes. Some think it's disgusting and ask how we can do it, but
it seems very normal to us."
yikes. i wonder what she'll do when her husband dies. i'm sure it'll seem very normal to her.
Australian man killed by suicide robot
The last best thing you'll ever build
An elderly Australian man apparently shot himself dead Tuesday, using an elaborate suicide robot of his own construction, according to media
reports.
The 81-year-old man who lived alone in Burleigh Heads left a note detailing his macabre machinations, as well as his grievances over his relatives
demanding he be committed to a nursing home.
The man reportedly had spent hours researching on the internet for a suitable way to do himself in before he came upon the plans for a complex murder
machine, which he built and armed with a .22 caliber handgun.
Local newspaper The Gold Coast Bulletin would not reveal the exact nature of the machine, but said it was loaded with four bullets and was capable of
firing multiple shots once activated by remote control.
After moving the robot to his driveway, he placed himself in front of the device and set the controls to up yours, Asimov. In his notes, the man said
he chose the driveway because he knew tradesmen working next door would see his body.
His grisly plan was executed perfectly. The man was soon found dead by the workers — altered by the sound of gunfire. ®
This teen girl was tricked into coming to a house before getting her ass handed to her by some fugly white trash hoe. The odd part is that the
primary purpose of the beating was so that they could post it on you-tube.
The victim apparently will have permanant damage to her ears and face.
Hmm, what would be the odds that when you manage to crash into and crush two cars, they're both Porsches? Anyway, maybe he should have given up
driving at 92.
Much embarrassment at the Green Arrow Forum, the bloggers' website that supports the BNP. At the top of the site is an advertisement for
singlemuslim.com, the UK's leading Muslim marriage service. This has caused much consternation to the perplexed BNP bloggers. It transpires that the
ads are placed by Google, whose computerised brain must have noted that the Green Arrow constantly refers to Islam and thus thought this would be an
appropriate site for lonely Muslim hearts. Some BNP bloggers have also twigged this and suggested that in future, Islam be referred to only as "the
threat to the west" to avoid confusion.
Much embarrassment at the Green Arrow Forum, the bloggers' website that supports the BNP. At the top of the site is an advertisement for
singlemuslim.com, the UK's leading Muslim marriage service. This has caused much consternation to the perplexed BNP bloggers. It transpires that the
ads are placed by Google, whose computerised brain must have noted that the Green Arrow constantly refers to Islam and thus thought this would be an
appropriate site for lonely Muslim hearts. Some BNP bloggers have also twigged this and suggested that in future, Islam be referred to only as "the
threat to the west" to avoid confusion.
That is funny! Do Google just randomly place ads as a result of keywords then or have I misunderstood? I am not sure it really matters actually - made
me smile!
